Last night, I went to see some live music with a long-time friend, in a small bar in Chicago. We started talking about some of the things we have reprioritized in our lives. For my family, we are making a commitment to more travel together and to reducing our accumulation of things. This is not really a new goal, but we are going to make a real concerted effort this year. For my friend, she is making it a priority to see more live music, see her friends more often and to surround herself with those that she cares about. As I looked about the crowd, where the average age was easily a decade to a decade-and-a-half younger than myself, I felt an overwhelming sense of contentment and hope for the future. All of these young-adults, out having fun, in what felt to be a very open and respectful environment. Even the bathrooms had hopeful messages of kindness written amongst the standard graffiti poems and such. People are out living their lives again, but it is different than pre-COVID.
It’s going to take us a bit to recognize the effects that COVID had on the entire world. Depending on where you were at in your own developmental and life journey, it likely impacted you in different ways than others. One thing that has stood out is that people are living lives that reflect their values more clearly and directly. I’m seeing it in almost every demographic—older people, young people, middle-aged, white, black, LatinX, Asian, LGBTQIA and so-on and so-forth. Over the past 3 years, I can’t count how many patients at this practice, both current and former, have left jobs that they did not find to be satisfying, changed careers completely, re-evaluated relationships, began new hobbies, or even just made a commitment to living life a little more fully. We’ve learned to set more boundaries and to really examine what is important to us and what actually encourages a better quality of life, versus what advertising campaigns tell us we need. It has been heartening, to say the least, and it is happening all around us—in our personal and professional lives.
I’m not totally sure where I am going with this (and I’m okay with that!), but this very noticeable shift in how we live our lives contributes to a feeling of gratitude for my own life, and contentment. It also increases my hope for where we go as a country and world. There’s been a lot to take in the 5-6 years. I think we will all be unpacking that for a while (maybe our entire lives), but it certainly seems like we are coming out of the ebb and into the flow, on a larger scale. People are actively committing to making changes for their betterment, which is consistent with what we know about how our behavior can influence our thoughts and feelings more generally. When we jump into action, and make a decision to change something or do something, even though we might not initially feel very motivated, the end result is a shift in our thinking as well as our mood and motivation. As a psychologist, witnessing this in someone else’s life is incredibly rewarding. Feeling it in your own life is even more rewarding.
It’s been hard for many the past several years, but clinically, when things are at their worst, that is often when you see major shifts and changes happen. And when those changes persist past the initial burst of motivation, that is when people’s lives really improve. I think we are starting to come out of this cultural depression. There’s hope for the future and for living better lives—more value-consistent lives, full of respect and kindness towards others, and the evidence is all around us. I encourage you to take a minute today and notice what is happening in your own pocket of the world. It might even fill you with a similar sense of gratitude as it has done for me.
—Stacey