Help! The sky is falling!
Typically when we think about stress we think about stomach aches, excessive worry or nervousness. However, stress can also feel like an anvil sitting on our chest. It can become so overwhelming that it feels like drowning in an impossibly long to-do list or an insurmountable task. When stress starts to feel paralyzing in this way, we can tend to go into escapism mode. In escapism mode, we have to work to actively ignore our stressors. This is not the same thing as making room to experience joy. Escapism says there is only room for ignorance, numbness, and avoidance. Joy is an outlet that allows us to continue to engage in the stress, to continue to fight for what we believe in and continue to hope for a better future.
Right now we are experiencing so many different threats to safety in the political landscape. We are hearing about or directly impacted by DEI initiatives dismantled, executive orders that threaten the lives of transgender individuals, the possibility of the department of education shutting down, mass loss of jobs for those working at our national parks, climate change, loss of abortion rights, no affordable healthcare, ICE raids…this list could go on. This is a time where escapism is a really attractive idea. As a collective, we are under a lot of stress with the threats thrown at us from the current administration. Things feel really scary and really unstable right now. And, if we allow ourselves to stay paralyzed in that fear, if we remain overwhelmed by this to the point that we cannot get out of bed then nothing will get better.
History
I have been thinking a lot lately about this quote from the AIDs crisis that is; “we buried our friends in the morning, we protested in the afternoon, and we danced all night. The dance kept us in the fight because it was the dance we were fighting for.” I was listening to a podcast where the guest mentioned a conversation they had with a LGBTQIA+ minister and a small rural town. They faced a lot of discrimination in their life and this person asked them about this experience. They answered that the way they navigate being a minister in this small town and in the LGBTQ community was by taking up space. They spoke about taking up all the space they possibly could because it was theirs and they were existing fully in it. It makes me think about this quote from the AIDs crisis because of that last line- Yes! that idea of the dance keeping us in the fight is the sentiment that we need joy to survive, we need the space to experience fun in order to have hope and the perseverance required of real change. But, the act of taking up space- the act of dancing- the act of existing fully (not half heartedly in the shadows, but entirely and wholly present) is the resistance and change, and it is something that cannot be taken away from you.
Community
Brandon Kyle Goodman hosts a sex positive educational/ comedy podcast titled “Tell Me Something Messy” and discussed the power of community in an interview with ER Fightmaster, a musician and actor. In this interview, ER referenced a study done on a city block in the Albina Neighborhood in Portland. This was a thriving area, and the government built a street that disrupted individuals ability to walk and engage in community activities, and then they built another road and another and another until the community was forced to split up because there was no longer infrastructure to support accessibility to walk. ER says, “there is nothing more threatening to the government than small communities” … “we can look at this and go oh that’s so horrifying or we can say if the government is spending that much money to destroy 4 blocks then small community is the answer”
What does it mean to engage in community? You might have to do some things you don’t like. Right now, I think community almost feels like a buzz word. We have to put in work to find and cultivate a community. The overuse of boundaries or independence can undermine the concept of community. Real community means helping others even when, and maybe even especially when it’s inconvenient to you. It means advocating for your neighbors even if you aren’t in the exact same situation as they are, it means being open to change and flexible to accommodate the needs of the collective whole rather than yours individually. This doesn’t mean that we neglect our needs- absolutely not. However, there can be balance between having our needs met and flexibility for others. If we overuse boundaries as a way to avoid having a difficult conversation that could lead to repair in a relationship or as an excuse to be too busy to help someone else then we won’t be able to engage in real community. I believe that community is the answer to creating a better world and next I will share some ways I am engaging in nurturing community in my own life.
Small steps
Come up with a plan to stay engaged. This plan should focus on small, realistic goals that you can do to:stay informed, engage in advocacy, and build community. For me, this looks like identifying 1-2 news sources that I find relatively unbiased and listening to those for roughly 20 minutes a day. Then, I make phone calls to my local representative and advocate for policy change. Right now, I am largely focusing on asking that my local representatives oppose efforts to dehumanize transgender and LGBTQIA+ people, to support the department of education and to oppose H.R. 32: the no bailout for sanctuary cities act. Lastly, I spend time communicating with my friends and family, I make an effort to say “hi” to the people I encounter on a regular basis, I pay attention to community events and stay informed about local elections. The main way I find out about community events is by staying connected to people in my communities that I admire. I follow them on social media and periodically check to see if they are hosting anything. I spend money on merchandise for organizations that I believe in, donate and volunteer for what I can. The more people you meet, the more events you will hear about, etc. So, start anywhere! A one time volunteer drive may lead to another event, another opportunity and so on. When you volunteer, or attend a protest, a walk to support something you care about- ask lots of questions. Get to know the people organizing these events and express your interest in being included. I also stay connected to opportunities through the church community that I belong to and find a lot of inspiration in the intersection between spirituality and social justice.
All of these actions are within our individual control and help to mitigate the stress from becoming overwhelming. Some other ways I have seen people create these plans is by engaging in actions that align with their values on a daily basis (i.e. doing one thing to promote healthy conditions for the planet each day- picking up trash outside, recycling, fixing items already owned rather than buying new). I also find writing to be a therapeutic outlet for all the feelings I have noticed in myself since this new administration, as well as listening to people who inspire me, linked in the resources below.
Dancing all night
Now that I’ve shared my personalized plan to stay engaged, what do you think yours could be? How can you take up space in your community? How can you access joy? I encourage you to spend some time thinking about your answers. Get connected to the earth, be brave enough to be still and listen. Allow yourself the space to reflect on what you want the world to look like. Once you know that, it will be easier to start showing up embodying those ideals. I want to live in a world where people feel safe and our differences feel not just accepted, but celebrated and honored for the wisdom that can be found there. We are told constantly by the world around us that we can only do so much. That is not true, do not accept that lie. There is so much power in being exactly who you are. There is so much power in sharing who you are with others and there is so much power in listening.
- Laura Bowling, Staff Therapist
