Navigating Self-Harm: signs and steps towards healing
As 2024 comes to a close and 2025 welcomes itself in, January can feel like one of the hardest months of the year. Cold weather, short days with little sunshine, and the pressure to somehow make this year better than the last. It is circumstances like these that can have an undeniable effect on mental health. When things get hard, we turn to coping skills. But not all coping skills are healthy, and many can be directly harmful to ourselves or the people around us.
One way in which some people attempt to cope is through “self harm”, often referred to as non-suicidal self injury (NSSI). This is defined as any behavior that one inflicts upon themselves in an attempt to cause bodily harm, most commonly seen in behaviors such as cutting, burning, hitting, or scratching oneself. However, this behavior can appear in a variety of different ways and has many different motivating factors.
Why Does Self-Harm Happen?
Self-harm occurs for a variety of reasons, but most often is a way to manage emotional pain when other strategies feel out of reach. Common reasons include:
Emotional Regulation: For some, physical pain may feel more manageable than emotional distress.
Relief or Release: Self-harm can provide a temporary sense of relief or release from overwhelming feelings.
Combat Helplessness: Self-harm can be an attempt to control feelings of helplessness or powerlessness
Feeling Something: For those experiencing emotional numbness, self-injury might be a way to feel alive or connected.
Self-Punishment: Feelings of guilt, shame, or self-loathing can lead someone to use self-harm as a form of self-punishment.
Punishing Others/Sending a Message: Self-harm can serve as a message to others or the world regarding feelings of injustice or unfairness, or as proof of one’s own suffering
Aftercare: Occasionally, there can be a strong sense of comfort in the process of caring for oneself after an injury has occurred.
Recognizing the Signs
Recognizing self-harm can be challenging as many individuals will hide the behavior due to shame and social stigma. However there are some common signs to look out for:
Unexplained cuts, bruises, or burns.
Scars, often in patterns
Wearing long sleeves or pants even in warm weather.
Avoidance of activities like swimming or changing in front of others.
Frequent reports of accidental injuries.
Individuals withdrawing for long periods of time to locked bathrooms or bedrooms.
Emotional withdrawal or isolation.
Supporting Someone Who Self-Harms
If you suspect or know that someone you care about is self-harming, here are some ways to support them:
Listen Without Judgment: Create a safe space where they feel heard and accepted. Avoid shaming or pressuring them to stop immediately.
Express Concern, Not Anger: Gently share your concerns and let them know you care about their well-being.
Encourage Professional Help: Suggest therapy or counseling as a way to explore underlying emotions and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Educate Yourself: Understanding self-harm can help you provide more informed and empathetic support.
Steps Toward Healing
Understanding Triggers: Identifying and addressing the triggers for self-harm can help reduce its frequency.
Self-Compassion: Developing a stronger sense of self-compassion can help in addressing strong feelings of guilt and shame, and encourage oneself to seek out more effective coping mechanisms
Therapy: Working with a trained-therapist can help individuals explore their emotions and develop alternative coping strategies.
Building a Support System: Connecting with trusted friends, family, or support groups can reduce feelings of isolation.
Developing New Coping Skills: Learning healthier ways to manage emotions, such as mindfulness, journaling, or physical activity, can be transformative.
If you’re struggling with self-harm, you are not alone, and help is available. It’s possible to break the cycle of self-injury and find healthier ways to cope. Recovery and healing is not about perfection; it’s about progress.
For those supporting someone who self-harms, remember that your empathy and patience can make a world of difference. Encourage them to seek help and remind them that they are worthy of care and understanding.